Incredibly Unmotivated

I am barely halfway through my mid-year exams. I honestly haven't studied much (read: at all) and for some reason, I don't care. Not one bit. Instead, I've been sailing through the afternoons, weekends and holidays with zero regard of the time I've wasted. I don't know what's wrong with me at the moment. I have forgotten to bring my calculator twice already. I have reasons to be afraid, of all the subjects I'm certain to fail, of the consequences once the results are released. But I'm not. For the moment, I could care less.

Instead of thinking about the now, I'm thinking about the future.
And oh, what a very selective future it is.

I've fast-forward to Taylor Swift's concert in June, which my brother and I will be attending. I'm constantly thinking about the symphony orchestra concert in July. And most of all, I keep thinking about what I'm going to do after I finish secondary school (i.e. high school).

Previously, I entertained the thought of going to Singapore to Study. To do the IB diploma in Wen Yi's school (UWCSEA) and then do BA (Hons) Film at LASALLE College of the Arts.
Yup, I've decided that I want to work in the film industry, a field infamous for its high unemployment rates, even among the arts scene.

However, after doing a lot of research, I realised that a film degree doesn't guarantee a job in the film industry. Which is why I've decided to study communications, which can help me find work in the industry, but also give me something to fall back on if it doesn't work out. And maybe doing an MA or MFA in filmmaking, most likely in the US since TischAsia no longer exists. Sigh.

My father is recommending the University of Nottingham for BA (Hons) International Communication Studies with Film and Television Studies because he thinks highly of the university and think I will enjoy studying it. However, I'm more interested in UCSI University's BA (Hons) Mass Communication, because it will allow me to major in Film and Television in the final year and I will definitely be able to make actual short films, unlike the former option.

Mr Lee (my violin teacher) is a lecturer there so maybe he can give me some valuable insight of the environment and the quality there. I don't think a music degree will be good for me, but I definitely want to get my diploma in violin and start learning the piano again, so that I have something else to fall back on. Yup, music is my ultimate back-up plan.

But anyway, I have no idea how I'm going to climb out of this rut I've stuck myself in. Any advice for now and for my future is extremely welcome.

Also, it is very likely that I will end up rewatching Her and Moonrise Kingdom later, instead of studying for whatever subject I'm taking tomorrow. *Sigh*

Here are the things I've done so far instead of studying:

• Blog about not studying.
• Watch TV shows with the pretext of admiring the actual production as a form of studying for the future.
• Play 2048, repeatedly. (Side note: I won.)
• Play the same songs on the piano over and over again.
• Play the same song on the violin over and over again.
• Practise The Moon Song on the ukulele.
• Tidy my desk.
• Begin tidying the rest of my room.
• Research for the future.
• Plan for the concert.
• Tumblr.
• Scroll down Twitter and constantly unfollow and follow users.
• Basically everything except study.

Many Happy Returns

I am happy and sad and everything in between. My birthday was on the 26th, during the mid-term school holidays. I still had to go to school because our Symphony Orchestra was going for a competition in Penang the very next day. I'm the concertmistress of Team A (playing the Prince of Egypt) and the conductor of Team B (playing Pocahontas). I spent most of rehearsal time with Team B. That morning, I was in the classroom with them, about to begin practice when suddenly, everyone from Team A came in.

At first, I thought they wanted to listen to Team B's performance, and asked them as much. Then, my good friends Kam and Shum walked in with a birthday cake and they all started singing the birthday song. I was really surprised and also really pleased. It's the first time ever someone surprised me that way. Then I blew out the candles and Kam cut the cake (her b'day: 28/3). We made the cake a mess but had fun smearing the cream on each other's faces. The cake was a mocha sponge cake. After that, it was business as usual.

Here is my Tumblr post complete with photos.

After rehearsal, So Jun came to pick me up to take me out. She was a little late, but never mind. After we dropped her friend off, I got out to get in the front seat. She had dropped my present beside the door (by accident) so when I opened it, she asked me if I could pick up something she dropped from beside my seat. And that's how I got my present. Easily the best birthday present EVER. I don't deserve it, but she says I do. Either way, I was really touched, especially by the little note she wrote for me. We went to Jusco, had Secret Recipe for lunch and she bought me these really cute charms. I skipped violin that day. (Shhh!!!)

For dinner, Dad bought crab and we watched The Avengers. Dad's birthday presents were tickets to Taylor Swift's concert in June and the lomography camera (but apparently, that's my pay for doing his website). Also, he bought me scallop pasta from Indulgence for lunch earlier.

The next day was the 27TH and THE DAY OF OUR COMPETITION. I was nervous the whole day for Team B, in the end they got bronze, as expected after their performance. Oh yeah, apparently my partner from the Genting friendship concert shares the same birthday as me. ANYWAY. THEN IT WAS TEAM A'S TURN. AND MY GOD WE WERE GOOD. All smiles after we left the hall. But during the presentation ceremony, we got... silver. I've never felt so deflated in my life. WE DESERVED GOLD. And it's not just me, some other schools also mentioned that we should have gotten gold. Heck, even the school that goes out of their way to say how much we suck said we should have gotten gold.

On the bus, I listened to the audio our senior (Mei Ern) recorded. I CRIED. IT WAS PERFECT. REGARDLESS OF THE RESULTS, I AM PROUD OF US AND THE FIVE YEARS WE DEVOTED TO THIS ORCHESTRA. NO REGRETS.

Also had a long talk with Mei Ern and Kam and we went to this totally useless shopping centre which totally killed our mood completely. But later we sang and stuff so we were pretty high by the time we arrived back in school. Also got a Doraemon from my junior.

28th: Kam's birthday present from me was a message attached with a collage. I had to go to school to do oral, my cinematography is good. Then Junqi took me out to AEON, had lunch at Nando's, watched Captain America, took the worst photo in history.

30th: Watched Divergent with Carmen and Cassandra. Did those Kawaii photo thingies. Had lunch after at Sakae Sushi.

It was a jolly holiday indeed.

31st March + 1st April: I received birthday cards from my three Mouseketeers. Oh yeah, even our coach thought we were gonna get gold, he was shocked when I asked him why we didn't.

The Sea of He And She, a tragic romance

{4th July 2012}
Junqi wanted to write a poem together so this is what happened, and I sent it to the school magazine for last year. According to her, I shouldn't have added her name to the credit, because I wrote most of it, but she did help, and it was her idea. So... I think most of our schoolmates liked it, even though it's a bit melancholy. There are a few mistakes, but I still like it.

This is the story of he and she,

They lived in a village by the sea.

The villagers said it was destiny,

But it turned out it was not meant to be.

He the sailor,

She the fisherman's daughter.

The first day of summer,

The first day they saw each other.

She was known as a great beauty.

Each day, she would swim in the great blue sea.

One day, as he stood on deck drinking tea,

He dropped his cup, mesmerized by her beauty.

By the end of the season, they were wed.

They had great pleasures while in bed.

You may think they were happy but this is sad,

This happy tale is about to end bad.

Each morning, she still went swimming.

Her beauty still blossomed even with her aging.

She became so beautiful till one day,

Even the sea couldn't turn away.

That evening, she did not return.

The cause of her disappearance, he vowed to learn.

As the night went on he began to despair.

He ran towards the sea, hoping to find her there.

He walked along the shore, desperate to find a trace.

Instead the sea washed up her ring, he began to pace.

Up and down the beach he went,

His frustrations, he began to vent.

Close to dawn, a conclusion came to my mind.

The mere thought brought tears to his eyes.

He realized that the sea had finally claimed her as its own.

Struck by the horror, he began to moan.

He looked out into the sea and thought,

A life without her, worth living? Not.

And so he walked into the sea,

Hoping that he would find his she.

Nothing was heard of them since then,

And at last our tragic tale has come to an end.

The writing utensil

{This is my script for my English oral assignment, which is a show-and-tell. I was supposed to present it on Tuesday but our teacher forgot about it so I'll only be presenting it next Tuesday. I wrote it on Monday. I didn't want to show anything fancy, because we are not allowed to bring certain things like mobile phones to school. I wanted something simple, so I chose my pen and decided to talk about how important my pen is to me.}

Good morning, etc.

This is a pen. I used it to write, obviously. It's nothing special, it's not magic or anything. And as you can see, it's running out of ink. I use it to do my homework: writing down equations, scribbling out essays, doodling.

But I also use it for so much more.

Bonne année

Christmas and New Year rolled into one.
My Christmas wasn't a very merry one. New Year will most likely be the same.
I've had a bit of thought about what I want to do after next year.
It drives me crazy getting old.

This dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets.
And I've never felt more alone, it feels so scary getting old.

I'll be spending even less time here. I don't feel bad about that at all. This should be the way.
I have quite a few resolutions, which I have written in my diary but will not be sharing here.
I don't know if I have the diligence, dedication and determination to fulfill them, however.
But I've run out of time, I have no choice but to turn over a new leaf.

Looking back on this year, I don't think I've learnt much from school. But I've learnt quite a bit outside, elsewhere. The world is not in our books, it's out there.

This year, there are a lot of things I want and have to do. No more wasting time, this is my last chance.

School starts day after tomorrow.

I can only hope that I will take myself seriously this year.

Good luck, Rachel Océane Wong Yen Yi.

Happy New Year.

Let It Go

This blog post's title is a reference to the award-winning-song-it's-destined-to-be from Disney's Frozen, as well as a subtle reminder for myself to let go of last year's Oscar snub for Rise of the Guardians. No, I have not gotten over it yet. *cries*
But another awards season is rolling around, and it's time to pay attention to a new set of animated feature films. Sigh.
Also, I've noticed that my readership has expanded somewhat since commenting on articles on Rookie, so if you got to this blog from there, HI! And please let me know what you like or don't like about my blog via the comments.

I watched Frozen on Thursday with my dad and we were both blown away by how great it was. It started off with a musical number and had some pretty good plot twists though being me I spotted them a mile away. The music was amazing, particularly the score by Christophe Beck. I expected Olaf the talking snowman to be annoying (you can blame/thank Shrek's Donkey for that) but he was funny and we rolled around in our seats laughing. I didn't really appreciate the trolls and I was disappointed by the lack of a big company number as a finale. But all in all, really beautiful animation, even though I like the ice animation in Rise of the Guardians better. (Because I'm BIASED, remember?) Also, Elsa seems like the Disney version of Jack Frost. The music deserves nominations in Best Score and Best Song, with at least one win for Best Song. The voice acting was top notch, and the singing even better. Also, brownie points for being the first female to direct a full-length Disney animated feature film as well the sole writer of the entire screenplay. You go, Jennifer Lee. This is easily the best animated film of the year.

As a reward for reading the review, here's the video for "Let It Go", just in case you haven't seen it yet. And even if you have, watch it again because Idina Menzel. (Defying gravity, anyone?) Best viewed in full screen and in 1080p HD.

As a side note, I think the only reason why I pay so much attention to the animation category is because that's pretty much the only Academy award category in which I have watched all the nominated films.

Here are some of the awards and the nominees so far. Yes, I was incredibly biased in choosing which awards to display.

Annie Awards: Best Animated Feature

• A Letter to Momo (GKIDS - Japanese)
• Despicable Me 2 (Illumination/Universal)
• Ernest & Celestine (GKIDS - French)
• Frozen (Disney)
• Monsters University (Pixar)
• The Croods (DreamWorks)
• The Wind Rises (Studio Ghibli)

Golden Globe Awards: Best Animated Feature Film

• The Croods
• Despicable Me 2
• Frozen, also nominated for Best Song
• (The Wind Rises was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film)

Satellite Awards: Best Animated or Mixed Media Film

• Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (Sony)
• The Croods
• Epic (Blue Sky/20th Century Fox)
• Ernest & Celestine
• Frozen
• Monsters University
• Turbo (DreamWorks)
• The Wind Rises

P.S. I just realised Rise of the Guardians won the Satellite Award last year, this makes me happy.

I am in total agreement with the statement that this has actually been a pretty weak year for animation, most of the releases were sequels. (Pixar, I'm looking at you.) Especially in comparison to last year, where the best animated feature race was actually a proper race with many strong contenders. This year, it looks like Frozen's gonna take home the award without any competition. But anyway, this is an Oscar noms prediction, not an Oscar win prediction. So here, assuming that there will be five.

Locks:

1. Frozen (Disney)
2. Monsters University (Pixar)
   Just because they're Disney and Pixar, but this round, Disney definitely deserves it.
3. The Croods (DreamWorks)
   I seriously doubt they'll snub Jeffrey Katzenberg two years in a row.

Possibility: The Wind Rises (Studio Ghibli)
I actually doubt this, I just don't want the others to have a place on the list.

Leaving:

• Epic (Blue Sky/20th Century Fox)
• Despicable Me 2 (Illumination/Universal)
• Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (Sony)

And possibly Walking with Dinosaurs and the two GKIDS films (A Letter to Momo, Ernest & Celestine) to pick up the scraps. I have a feeling that there might only be three nominations this year.

Whoa, this article actually took a lot longer to write than I thought it would.

References:
Whoa, check it out! I'm learning how to cite other sources!
~ Indiewire: For Oscar nom predictions.
~ SFGate: For further reading.
~ Various Wikipedia articles

UPDATE (17th January 2014):
I WAS WRONG. Pixar is losing its mojo, but Frozen will still win.

Dreamsand Miracles, a letter to Dreamworks Animation

{14th January 2013}
A fan letter for Rise of the Guardians.

To the lovely person who took the time to read this letter,

Hello. My name is Rachel, I am 15 years old and I come from Malaysia. In case you don't know where that is, it is a country in South East Asia. I am writing regarding the beautiful animated film that is Rise Of The Guardians.

     Maybe none of you will read this, but I just want everyone involved in the production of this film to know how much I appreciate the love and effort that they put into this film. I may just be one person, but I am pretty sure that I am not alone in thinking this.

     This is the first time I cried while watching a movie. And what is truly amazing is that I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was crying because I was so happy. Yes, this film made me shed tears of pure joy. This was the part where Jamie started believing in Jack Frost. Maybe it was partly due to Alexandre Desplat's score, which was beautiful in every way imaginable, but all I know was that Jack Frost's moment of recognition touched me in so many ways. All his life, nobody knew he existed, nobody cared about him, and the only thing he wanted so badly was to be believed in. Somehow, I can relate to that. Feeling alone in this world, and never receiving any attention or any form of recognition from anyone. And when Jack Frost and Jamie faced each other and looked at each other, I don't know why but it was just so moving I teared up and cried right there in the theatre, which I have never done. I was just so happy for Jack, he waited for so long to receive even just a tiny shred of recognition, and he finally received it. It was pure cinematic magic.

     Seriously, I have no idea what the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is doing, excluding Rise Of The Guardians from the nominations for Best Animated Feature. In my most humble opinion, this film is an epic classic that deserves that Oscar (as well as any other awards) way more than all the other movies combined.

     So once again, thank you, thank you, and thank you for making the most beautiful film I have ever seen, animated or live-action. It has made me once again believe in magic, hope, wonder and fun, things I have forgotten and stopped believing in as I grew up. It has made me believe that one day, we will all get our happy ending, one way or another. No other film has made me feel as much as I did as the Rise Of The Guardians. Somehow, I have a feeling that DreamWorks has found the magic that several other animation studios have lost. I sincerely hope that there will be a sequel for this movie, because I am really looking forward to seeing Jamie, Jack, Tooth, Bunny, Sandy, North, and maybe even Pitch on the big screen again. And once more, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

{P.S. 19th & 23rd July 2013}

     In March, I received the Guardians of Childhood books as a birthday present. (To be honest, I requested for it specifically.) At first I was a bit hesitant. A 16 year old reading a children's book isn't really considered "cool". But I thought, whatever. I wanted to read it, so I did.

     And I loved it. (The series is now among my favourite books of all time.)

     When I first wrote this letter, it was to thank the filmmakers who made the film. I never thought of thanking the creator of the world. Now, I can't believe I never thought about it until now.

Thank you Mr Joyce,

     Thanks to you, I know I'm no longer alone at night. Thanks to you, I will always see the world with my eyes open in wonder, and let my mind wander and imagine. Thanks to you, I will never give up, I will keep on hoping, I will keep on believing that tomorrow will be a better day. Thank you.

     Thinking about Mary Katherine and Jackson, I think they're very lucky to have a dad who loves them so much. And I'd like to think that wherever she is, MK would be proud of the things her dad's given the rest of us. Hope, belief and wonder.

Thank you all.

When I write a letter thanking someone for something they have done, it's because that something brought me out from a deep dark hole and shined a bright light into the vast emptiness of my life, that something cheered me up, brought me happiness, inspired me and became a part of my dream.